People Lie.

pimpin'

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 23:30:49 GMT

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:12:48 GMT

I'm sorry to have to ask this again, but I'm really desperate.

I can't offer much in return, but I can draw one picture for a person per dollar I pull in. I hate having to ask for cashola, but I have to pay this bill. There's just no other way I can do it.

Even 50 cents helps. Please.

Send anything you can to my paypal account: emmaline.westlund@gmail.com

I'm about ready to fucking kill something

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:18:28 GMT

Why can't job places UNDERSTAND that I NEED A FUCKING JOB, that's WHY I'M APPLYING AND JUMPING THROUGH THE HOOPS. Good lord, why does everyone ELSE that applies for the jobs that I APPLY FOR get the job? Seriously, what the fuck am I doing wrong?! I'm going to be in over my head in debt for the rest of my life the way this shit is going.

SOMEBODY NEEDS TO FUCKING GET THIS GOVERNMENT SPAYED AND OR NEUTERED.

I hate the depressed aura around my blog lately

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:05:22 GMT

But I am seriously considering killing myself right now.

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 04:58:56 GMT

So..
Go to www.fanfiction.net/~never-with-you
Read Flirting with Death (parts 1 and 2).
Come back and answer this poll:

View Poll: FWD

I'm... talking?! on the internets?

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:56:54 GMT

hey guys,
I am writing this with a speech recognition software. It is very frustrating, but doable. I am doing this because I want to improve my diction. I slur many of my words, but if I do this, I could possibly not slur as much. Anyway, I figured that my journal could use a nice long entry.

I only have 14 days until I'm out of college. You have no idea how excited this makes me. I absolutely hate graphic design with a fiery passion that consumes my soul. You have no idea how irritating drawing, matching colors, and creating layout designs can be. It is like having five root canals every day.

I want to be a forensic scientist. I know you all know this, but I like to repeat myself. In fact, I just happen to enjoy the sound of my own voice so much that I have had to repeat nearly every line into this entry. not so, I lie. This stupid, dumb piece of shit software can't recognize half of what I say. It is really starting to annoy me. This entry has taken more than 1/2 hour to write. This is because I have to repeat nearly every word I say. However, at least something good is coming out of this. I am learning how to talk to a computer.

I am going to end this entry now, because I am getting very frustrated with this software, however hopefully in the future, I shall be able to, without frustration, write my entries, and my fan fiction, simply by talking to my computer.

Good night,
And have a pleasant tomorrow.
hicsiguy

fanfiction!

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:20:33 GMT

*as a note, I'm still not taking my meds. I just can't see myself affording them even if I got help from the state or anything, I have no job*

But because of it, I have been so creative lately, it's AWESOME.

http://www.fanfiction.net/~neverwithyou

Check that shyt out! :D

Graphics Dump

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:47:15 GMT

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and two from finding nemo.

Rip me a new one if they suck, please. I'm a graphic student and I need to learn XD

|||||||||||||

tl;pr (too long; please read)

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:01:14 GMT

So, I don't know if I told any of you the whole story, and I don't know if anyone here actually wants to know, either. But as you've probably noticed if you've been reading my non-fanfic updates, I've been really depressed/loopy/nutso lately.

It started a few weeks ago, early July, late June maybe even. I don't remember. I can't even really fully comprehend that it's August right now. Anyway, I was depressed beyond all belief, and therefore I attempted seeking some sort of fulfilling contact with any friend I could. Upon being unable to do this, I ran into my bedroom, grabbed my ex-acto knife, and slashed my wrist. I used the blood from it to write a suicide note on my old bedsheet.
My mom found me.
I was in treatment for 17 days. they let me go because of my college. (I can't miss more than like 5 days or I get kicked out, but they made a slight exception for me.) So, hopped up on more psycho pills than any person should be, I trodded back to school.
Since leaving treatment, I lost 25 pounds. 2 weeks. 25 pounds. Part of me is happy. The rest of me still wants death.

I stopped taking my drugs tonight. In 3 weeks, I won't have insurance to cover their refills, anyway. I may as well be coherently psychotic.

I can fully understand if this causes any of you to not want to be friends with me any longer.
I'm really sorry I neglected the lot of you and still sort of do. I just don't really know how to reply to comments right now.
And that's even starting to effect my rpg life.... (I really gotta reply to a comment here soon).

But...
If any of you ever want to talk to me or whatever, here's my extraenous contact information:

msn messenger: eaten_alive_by_your_lies@hotmail.com
AIM: weirdemma04
email: emmaline.westlund@gmail.com
myspace: www.myspace.com/whatthefuckitsaflyingcow
livejournal: grissom_issom

vote away, csi fans

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:22:23 GMT

View Poll: Grissom

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:19:02 GMT

So I have had the absolute worst day ever.
I asked one of my friends out. She said no. (well obviously, I'm fuckin hideous).
My school computer crashed in the middle of a save, and all my files were destroyed.
And then my worst fears are true: Grissom's leaving CSI.
I'm probably the last person on the fucking earth to find that last one out, but FUCK.
I'm in the world's most morose mood. I can't even bring myself to get up to get something to drink.

1. I've loved that friend I asked out since forever.

2. I'm fucked for like five assignments at college.

3. WTF William Petersen, thanks SO MUCH for destroying my favorite fandom for me RIGHT WHEN IT WAS GETTING INTERESTING. I'm not even gonna watch season nine. Fuck this shit.

I just want to die.

So, I'm here for pleadings again XD

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 00:42:44 GMT

Please, please do make sure you go down to www.emmalinewesltunddesigns.com and type a search (real or make believe) into my google bar and click on the "ads by google" in the search results. YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY CLOSE THE WINDOWS THEY POP UP IN, but every click gets me like 30 cents on google adsense. I need to get to 100 dollars to cash out. I'm at 5. I'll draw a picture dedicated to a random friend on my friends list for every 5 dollars I hit on there starting now.

ALSO! ATTENTION CSI FANS! I HAVE TWO STORIES UP ON DEVIANTART.COM please visit http://never-with-you.deviantart.com and read "Warrick Brown" and Flirting With Death part 1 (five chapters up). If you catch any errors, please comment there or here with them. It will help my deviantart friends get part two. :) (I have an ultimatum there because I'm a bitch sometimes when my work gets shunned).

So I found a way that you can donate to me without having to pull from your pockets!

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 23:09:24 GMT

Go to www.emmalinewestlunddesigns.com and click on the google ads. Use my google search engine. Do googly stuff.
Every click and use gives me a few cents on my google adsense account. It'll keep me running until I get a job, but i need your help.
Spread the word and keep clicking! Bookmark me if you want to, just help me out, eh? It'd make me love you long time :D

(of course, if you ever want to commission art from me, you can always comment here or email me at emmaline.westlund@gmail.com and we can work out some paypal stuff!)

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 03:08:48 GMT

Hey thar.

I just got a whole bunch of grad monehs.

So congrats to my randomly selected winner of a paid account gift: tracichan I will keep doing that at random upon getting a job.

I'm feeling... tired.

I went to IKEA today and bought a whole mess of new bedroom furniture. It's pretty great. I can't wait for it to get here tomorrow.

MY MEDS ARE FUCKING WITH MY BRAINS.

EDIT: I'm creating a website. Anyone good with HTML wanna help meh out?

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 05:58:40 GMT

Thank you for your wonderfulness. :) I'm sorry I'm not able to reply directly to comments right now, I'm going through treatment and I'm very, very tired from therapy. I will tell you all about it next time I have an internet allowance.

Happy fourth of July, a day late.

stoled from tracichan

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 01:26:57 GMT

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions. That's cheating and it ruins the fun.

1. Good, because just so YOU know, I don't do no-account evil bitches who sleep all day instead of taking care their damn children, okay?

2. Oh, you think you're so special because you get to play Picture Pages up there? Well, my five year old daughter could do that and let me tell you, she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. So why don't you go back to night school in Mantino and learn a real trade.

3. I will make it legal.

4. I can't lose you again!

5. Why should the courtesan chose the penniless sitar player over the maharajah who is offering her a lifetime of security? That's real love. Once the sitar player has satisfied his lust he will leave her with nothing. I suggest that the courtesan chose the maharajah.

~~6. "I'm on the brute squad" "You are the brute squad!"~~ Princess Bride aracale

7. Get away from her you bitch.

8. Not so tough without your car, are you?

9. IS EVERYBODY GAY?!

10. But Debbie, pastels?

11. I'll have what she's having.

12. "What knockers!" "Senk you!"

13. "Hospitible my ass, get off my porch."

~~14. What we have heaaah, is a failuhhh to communicate.~~ Cool Hand Luke aracale

15. Who are those guys?

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 05:30:06 GMT

Any Minnesotans here? Any of you going to Twin City PRIDEfest Saturday? Want free hugs?

I'll be there, in a grey tank top with rainbow lettering giving free hugs as I troll about.

Since I know some of you roleplay,

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 02:44:06 GMT

I am looking for a place that is active and fun and preferably CSI only OR OR OR OR multifandom. I want to play Gil Grissom. I reallllly want to RP. So if someone could recommend me a/to a community, I would be entirely grateful. I REALLLLLY want to rp. Idk why, but it's taking me over right now.

and and and and my camera crapped out :-C

Very Important, please read.

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Fri, 30 May 2008 22:46:07 GMT

I am considering selling a bunch of my tee shirts, a kimono, and a multitude of other things, such as jewelry and handcrafted items, paintings, and books.

If you would be interested, please PLEASE comment here.
Nothing would be sold for more than five dollars. I swear it.

And it would be by paypal.

In a comment, please tell me:
=What you'd be interested in (so I can take a picture of it and post it for you)
=Whether I'd have to UPS/Fedex it to you or we could meet up at an agreed spot to exchange cash/item
=Whether or not you'd be willing to donate to me! LOL (sadly, not kidding. I'm really far in debt, can't find a job, am trying very hard, but am within days of begging for cash on the streets of minneapolis.)

Please respond quickly! I beg you!

Ana/Mia I am sick of this shit!

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Tue, 27 May 2008 01:58:58 GMT

I've been relapsing, getting better, relapsing worse, and getting a little better for the past two weeks.

What I wouldn't give to just get down to that damn goal weight so that little skinny bitch in my brain would STOP shouting at me. Every thing I eat, I remove from my body in one way or another. I have literally DDR'd my ass straight off. I'm not kidding.
I just wish it would be WORTH IT. I haven't lost a pound. Not one fucking pound. Why can't I lose some pounds???? I've been exercising my ass off. I've barely eaten since last Wednesday, I feel like a tool. A wounded, dizzy, hypoglycemic tool.
What I wouldn't give for my brain and my body to just stop fighting. If my body could finally just NOT NEED, I would be happy. If my brain would stop fighting to starve me, I'd be happy. But no.
Of course not.

I'm at the HIGHEST weight I've been at since last October.

FUCK.

I can't do this shit anymore.

Suggested/requested by lalique

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Tue, 20 May 2008 20:54:11 GMT

Here's art! LOL
Yes, I will eventually get around to some actual, idk, shading, and, idk.. LUCY? LOL but so far I now have concept art for what Ethel will look like in the piece.. So that makes me smiley.

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Fri, 16 May 2008 19:01:42 GMT

Because I feel very.. creative LOL

Comment here with a television show and two characters from the show. Also, add a theme if you're feeling nice.

I will reply with a drawing of the characters using the theme if you suggest one.

Fly! Fly!

You know what I HATE?

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 01:31:25 GMT

When people post things like "HI!! MY NAME IS ______! I LOOOOOVVVEE THE LOCAL _______________ MUSIC SCENE, AND I LOVE THE CITY. I LIVE IN ________________ _______________ AND I LOVE MEETING NEW PEOPLE! ADD ME!" In addme, gj-meetup, etc., but when you go and actually, oh, I don't know, ADD these fuckers, they get all "well, ok, we can TRY it I guess but I don't think I'm gonna like you too much..." and then go on to say they will add you back, never actually do so, and never reply (or even go as far as deleting rather than replying) to anything, oh, say, NICE OR PRODUCTIVE you post in reply to their journals.

WHY THE FUCK ARE MINNEAPOLIS-RESIDENTS SO FUCKING BITCHY? DO THEY HONESTLY THINK THEY'RE BETTER THAN THOSE OF US IN THE FUCKING SUBURBS? Every fucking Minnesota resident that I've found (No offense to friends list if you're from Minnesota, Minneapolis, or the like, you are BOMB! Really, you rock. I'm speaking generally) are fucking bitches. Or selfcentered fuckheads, or people who can't get their heads out of their asses and actually talk to someone from the area WHO CLEARLY HAS MANY OF THE SAME INTERESTS AS THEY THEMSELVES HAVE LISTED ON THEIR PROFILE! >:O

Seriously, am I just a fucking bitch? Does my journal.. smell bad? Do I give off the aura of "I'm stupid, I was unpopular in highschool and would like to get to know people who are clearly better than me in every way (HAH!)"? Do I seem to go out of my way to offend people?

Because.. shit. It seems that IJ holds tons of assholes from Minnesota. Or maybe I'm just that unlikeable. Which I doubt quite optomistically. XD

EDIT OF DOOM, EDIT OF DOOM:

A. Am posting this under a cut with my info over on addme AND gj meetup.
B. Need to add this! [shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1][shift+1]!!!!!!! >:)

gajhakhervkjwefkmacire (fanfiction)

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:59:51 GMT

I'm on page 52 of the handwritten version of my CSI fanfiction, which also happens to be the first page of chapter two of part two. Gbaj4jgn I hate writing things so matter-of-factly, concisely, and directly, I can't go into lavish detail. I wish I could. But I can't.

I really need betas. TT__TT anyone willing should first go over to dark_horizons, read what I have up, comment and critique, and share whether or not they think my writing skillz can be saved.

I can't pay you, other than maybe with icons or pretty fan art of your choice?

Can I plz has secund intrveew?

emmaline.westlund@gmail.com — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 04:59:00 GMT

I can has! I has! Monday!

Yay!

Please please please Gods let me get this job! I need it so bad! I needs teh schooling and teh learnings and teh abilities to move out!

(more when I'm not about to fall asleep on my keyboard)