| That was the fastest I've ever devoured a book series | [Nov. 22nd, 2008|05:05 am] |
And I mean EVER. I finished reading breaking dawn</b>, the final book in the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer today. About five minutes ago. I will now proceed to grade this series as I see fit.
All in all, it was an interesting story, however, a rather predictable one. Here is my grading scale:
5 = amazing, nothing could top this shit!
4 = good, I've read or seen better
3 = it had its moments, somewhat decent
2 = eh
1 = wtf, this shit sucks, seriously, my two year old niece writes better crap
0 = you totally lost me, could you repeat kindergarten and learn how to spell/read/grammar?
Titles (twilight, new moon, eclipse, breaking dawn): 3
Main Characters:
-Bella: 1
-Edward: 2
-Emmett: 5 (seriously, he has the most personality of the group)
-Carlisle: 2
-Esme: 2
-Alice: 3
-Rosalie: 1
-Jasper: 0
-Jacob: 2
++Overall: 2
Grammar/spelling: 3
General readability: 1
Chance that the books were printed on paper made from crack cocaine, methamphetamines, and/or heroin?: 5
Wordiness: 3
Stephenie Meyers' futile attempts to bring up reading level by inserting random "big" words?: 5 (for effort, purely.)
Minor/Supporting characters: 0
Probability that I will never read the books again: 4
Final analysis: Books were definitely intended for teenagers, based on storyline, however would be better suited for the beginning reader, based on reading skill necessary to power through them. A person of college-level reading skill could very well power through them in 20 hours, if they gave up sleep and bathroom breaks. Grammar was not always correct, and the characters pandered far too much. Bella Swan is the biggest Mary Sue in the history of books that I have read, closely followed by Harry Potter.
And if you love the books, don't flame me. I couldn't fucking care less, mmkay? |
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